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Pushing Past "I Don't Wanna"

I need to be in the mood," "Maybe later when I feel like it," "I'm not getting the right vibe." I've told myself many times that I need to be in the right mindset to do certain things like clean my room, laundry, exercise, create art. You know what? I don't have to start that way.

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I made plans today to go outside into a park on a photo shoot with my friend Laura. I looked ahead at the forecast which called for rain. We still had about 2 hours until the predicted start. Well, the weather is hard to predict. We stepped out of the car into the rain with my hodgepodge of accessories because, for the life of me, I had no idea what I wanted to do. We walked to our spot and began setting up. I found an okay vantage point, somewhat interesting nature stuff, and set up the tripod. I just didn't want to do it. I kept saying this is too hard, I'm getting wet, my camera will fog up, I won't make anything good without a plan anyways. Then I looked around, realized I had come all this way into the park and through my whining already set my camera. What was stopping me? Why should I break down and give up? It really was not the time, not the right mood, not the vibe. I was fighting it. I was judging myself and creating a barrier where there wasn't one. I wasn't letting it be the right mood, vibe, whatever. So, I just did it. Like having to run to your car in a rainstorm sans umbrella, I just ran with it. I just started taking pictures. As soon as I overcame the mental barrier I created, it was great!

This happens to me all the time when I go to work-out. I know it happens to me and I still huff and puff when I think about lifting weights or doing lunges. ( I can squat for days but lunges make me burn.) I know that once I get started, I get to a spot where I enjoy it and feel even better after. It's the same effect creating art. There is a pressure to create something with meaning, and that pressure to set the bar higher bars entry. So just do it! It was fun taking pictures and moving through problem-solving. I came up with a concept as Laura and I worked together that I will use as a launch pad for other work. I don't know if I would have gotten to it if I didn't just jump in.

My new self-challenge is to do something I don't want to do every day. I don't want to eat vegetables, find some celery. I don't want to make my bed, tuck those corners. Break mental barriers and overcome what little fears hold me back.  


Laura being a super star fabric waver in the rain.

Laura being a super star fabric waver in the rain.